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Showing posts from November, 2017

Life After... Pt4

"I want to see the trees."
Those were his last words to me on 26th May 2017. The day when we discovered Mum's cancer, the day Dad did his darnedest during physio at his bed just to get on the wheelchair, the day we took him for a little walk around the ward, the day before the 1st of Ramadhan... The day he had a stroke.
We would never hear his voice again after that day until Allah called him home on 16th June 2017, 21st Ramadhan 1438H. 
There were a few things that he wanted, which I failed to fulfill. For breakfast the day he was first brought to the hospital in Ipoh, he had told me he wanted fresh milk from Salim's Restaurant - I'm sure with 3 teaspoons of sugar for that perfect taste. While he was in the ward, he wanted some Miso soup from Rakuzen Japanese Restaurant, but logistically it was hard to get to the nearest Rakuzen and I only got him some Miso soup from Sushi Zanmai. He wanted some jelly when he was sitting on the wheelchair - I told him we would b…

Life After... Pt 3

Have you ever seen a sand castle crumble? Or a Jenga set that has been precariously taken apart and stacked together bit by bit, crash? That was exactly how I felt everything fell apart when I received that message...
I quickly rushed to the hospital and the Doctors called all of us for the dreaded family conference. 'Family conference' - it sounds like just another meeting. But in all honesty they were giving us the situation as it were and what it would entail. They gave us a time frame where they would continue to give Dad all the support he needed - oxygen, nourishment, medicine, the works. And they told us what would happen next should Dad make it through the night. All they are hoping for, no matter how scientifically and medically impossible it was, was that Dad would regain some brain activity. After all they did say they were not God, and only God can decide what will be.
After the family conference, there we were at the hospital keeping vigil all day and all night pr…

Life After... Pt 2

Dad was admitted in the ICU on the morning of 30th April. He had a severe case of pneumonia (and no one knew how things escalated so quickly to acute pneumonia save for Allah). When we first arrived at the Accident & Emergency, the attending physician who is a Cardiologist specially assigned by a friend’s father as the Director of the hospital, explained that all they needed to do was to give Dad antibiotics and nebulizer. Dad was supposed to be in the ICU for three days for monitoring and treatment, and it was expected that he would be right as rain. Although the Doctor did say that there was a possibility that Dad may be intubated just to help him recover better. I didn’t know it then but it turned out that “intubated” meant Dad would be sedated. So when he was wheeled to his bay at the ICU and suddenly the Doctor said there was a complication, I felt an awful feeling at the pit of my stomach. Dad’s case was much more complex than a normal pneumonia case would be because he was …

Life After... Pt 1

Call it a wake-up call. Call it an epiphany. Call it therapy. Call it what you will. But as I was wallowing in my sorrows as 1st November 2017 began, and knowing that in 24 days I was going to meet my 34th birthday without my beloved Dad for the very first time, I thought to myself that I need to do this for my own healing.
Yes, I lost my Dad this year. He left to be with Allah at exactly half of this year, on 16th June 2017. When 2017 started I honestly thought it would be a great year. I went on my solo trip, I was on probation for a promotion at work, I was going to the gym, my family was in good health, everyone was happy. It was a great start of the year.
Then like the 2004 Tsunami, my whole world and life unexpectedly came tumbling upside down and inside out. All of a sudden my family had crises. *Note the plural form of the word "crisis"* And it started on a rather fine day on 28th April.
I was on edge that day as I did my colleague's wedding makeup. Part of me screa…